This tour was the first chance to take our new Helter Skelter kill van for a spin and it held up pretty well. I picked Brenton Wheeler up and tried to stay ahead of a storm that was producing hail and winds in excess of 80MPH. Unfortunately he was at band practice with the Black Tarantulas burning a disc for our sweet cd player. The storm caught up to us and Brenton got some party favors for the van.
Lucky for us the van lights foreshadowed the rest of the tour by flickering on and off right before dawn so we stopped on the side of the road and filmed a drunken Brenton playing on the freeway (footage to be used in the video). Brenton fell asleep and I rocked out to no music for the next 4 hours.
Atlanta brought the promise of a haunted van as we got the third perfect pump without touching the gas lever. $75.00, $100.00, and $99.00. The freakfest had just begun. We picked up Garlinghouse from Jero’s house, scooped Farmer from the airport and proceeded to search for nothing in Newnan, GA. Lucky for us we found a few spots that have yet to be in videos and had a mediocre first day before we got rained out.
The next day was Super Hick and Haffey won, we went out skating before hand and Chris got a rap overpuss on a kinked rail. We got the Redbull girls to give us 30+ Redbulls for our trip since the van has built in coolers. Later that night we got sauced in a parking lot rather then drive the hour out to Franky’s house. Dunkle got hyped on some country music and pummeled me with some sucker punches, punched Farmer in the nose, shoved Don, and sucker punched me in the nose, in the meantime Whiskey Pete was locking lips by the dumpster.
The following day we got to follow Jero around the city and shoot some legit photos and skate and abandoned business park. Everyone got a piece and it was really awesome that the trip was finally kicking into gear. Brenton and Don found some explosives that never got off the ground as well. A bum asked for money for “food” so we gave him a “Colbert and Redbull.” I made a deal with the guys that since they had such a good day we could turn the haunted van into a party van, but I refused to stop for potty breaks since it would get redundant once the seal got broken. Finally after 5 hours a bunch of saucy rollerbladers found their way to Memphis.
Memphis was kind of slow until we found a few silly things to skate and the sickest sculpture in the world. Very hot and the jerks made me eat arbys, damned IBS. Little wax spermies were made to pass the time, and Farmer fell in love with the Kendama. So we laced up the town and headed toward Little Rock the next morning.
Little Rock was wild from the bat, we pulled up to a school and Mr. Honkey called the cops and started tailing us around town. We pulled over the van and I got out of the car and called the cops on him for harassment. Michael took some awesome photos of him below. So far this trip we had gotten away with skating the biggest bust spots in each city and our good luck continued as we got to skate the Marriott downtown. We also got the chance to skate the World’s first ever integrated school and the World’s worst bank to rail. Sadly as we go the party van started back up for the night our lights went out 210 miles from Fayetteville and our next stop. We decided to follow cars on the highway with no lights on and made it 60 miles before getting pulled over by the police. Turns out over 10 people had called the cops on us and the highway patrol had been searching for us for around 30 minutes. No ticket, no nothing, we just got back on the highway in the haunted van and drove another 7 miles without lights to the nearest motel.
Fayetteville was full of square rails that weren’t appealing and this kinked ledge. We scooted quick to get back to Kansas before the sun went down and the lights went crazy. I got a chance to use the jug and Garlinghouse got a chance to drive the magic van.
When we got back we had the wonderful chance to party it up with all the Lawrence people. Check the photos.
